Friday, November 4, 2016

For the bland

Have you ever noticed that the folks in advertisements on television act as if they're heavily dosed on Prozac?
Ad in particular: for one of the restaurants out there, maybe Ruby Tuesday's. Kids ask their mother how she likes her food after the father has just taken a stab at something on her plate and eats whatever it is. The woman says with a smile "Ask your father".
Now, had that been ME or any member of my family, I'd have blown up at the guy, punched him in the ribs and probably stabbed my fork into his hand.
I do not take Prozac or any other emotion suppressing drug.
Perhaps I should.
Car crash ad for insurance. Kid calls mother from the wrecked car and calmly says, "Mom, I have to tell you something."
Mother or whoever is on the other end of the call calmly says, "Well, just as long as you are all right." She doesn't start screaming, "What were you doing? Did you crash the Subaru? Do you know how much this is gonna cost?"
The list of these medicated people in ads goes on and on, but there's one that I do enjoy. Two little girls are "making a cake" and slopping stuff all over the counter and floor.  Mom has to scrub at the floor with a sponge mop. Doorbell rings, they pull in this huge box of Swiffer cleaning supplies. Mother says something to littlest kid, "and how does that make Mommy feel?" regarding the big mess. Kid, cute little blondie type, scrunches up her face and raises her fists.
That, my friends, comes closest perhaps to how I might react.
But you see, I'd have already blown my cool over the kids slopping cake mix all over the counter and floor.
Yes. Yes I would have.
The fuse to my temper is mighty short.
I no longer know what being "calm" is.
Don't give me any crap!

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