Friday, November 6, 2020

Long time gone

Gee. Time doesn't pass quickly when one is having fun, nor does it pass quickly when one is miserable.

So, having been miserable for weeks, I'm anxiously awaiting the end of my trauma, for the world to know that it can be set right again, and for my family and friends to speak to one another again.

I fear it is going to be difficult. Too many things have been said or avoided to be easily forgotten and mended.

And when the only thing making me the least bit happy is watching Aquaman several times, well, what does that tell you? The world has been too much with me, late and soon, Mr. Wordsworth.

But, no matter what happens in the next few days or weeks, I remain hopeful. And we should all feel that way. There are too many bad days, too many pains and illnesses, too many broken people for us to completely give up on doing what is right and healing our hearts and minds.

If this is not my normal post, I have to tell you that I have my late autumn pain in my side. I cannot regulate my body temperature, going from hot to cold to hot to sweating. Every year for the past 11 years, I have felt this. Every year I hiccup when I turn. I lose my balance. I get that dark line on my right thumb, and I think, well, it is back and this time, I won't make it through.

But I will never give up. I have dealt with phantom pains and feelings for a decade.

 This time is no different and this time, I will be okay.

Two of the people who attended this remission party have passed away. I miss them terribly. They were not as fortunate as I have been. Take care of them, God.