Fed Up

Thinking of grievances

I'm tired of being taken advantage of. 

Turns out somebody stole the pump from our pool. It was there, then it was gone. It's not a little piece of machinery, it is pretty heavy and we need it for our swimming pool...the only thing we have to relieve us in summer. Well, I don't use it, but everybody else does.

Then I got to thinking of the things that have been taken from our family. Karyn had an entire stack of Scholastic books stolen from her desk in third grade. Nobody did anything about it.

In the Army, I had a rain head-covering stolen from me. Called a havelock, I think. I don't remember much because I had it and then I didn't. I got shit for not having it, but somebody else enjoyed it.

So many things have been taken from us.

My good platter that had brownies for the singers. Gone.

And then, there is the "you can donate this, Mrs. Peterson, because you don't work." I was a working writer and editor and my time didn't matter to anyone. I was a Girl Scout leader and home room mother and still got asked to make stuff and be in the classroom and library AND work in the house and work on my stories that did get published.

No, I had to make sandwiches for the First Communion group while the other mothers got to bring in a bottle of soda.

Well, this is the ONE TIME I actually did something about my valuable time: I made finger sandwiches, all right. Sardine, cream cheese and a dash of hot sauce. They were pretty. Quite lovely. Inedible, to be sure, but I made them.

I'm angry today. I dislike being taken advantage of. I dislike people stealing from me. I forgot about the back up device from our first van...taken from our driveway. Yeah, that was costly!

My grandmother used to curse people who took from her. She once wished the woman who stole a ring from her...that her finger would get cancer and fall off. Yeah, it runs in the family. My mother was prone to denouncing folks who wronged her, too.

I don't wish things like that. Curses have a nasty habit of coming back on you. 

While I was out

 It's almost the end of the year.

So far, it's been a shitty year.

I'm trying really hard to come up with something good that happened in this whole 363 days and I CAN'T.

We are all still alive...some in better shape than others. We have medical problems. Our hearts are still beating but walking is getting harder.

Big changes ahead. God, please make the world safer! See those who need help and love and shower them with those things. It's asking for a great deal, I know, but still, I'm praying.

Oh, yeah. I thought of a good thing.

I finally got to see the second half of  Shin Godzilla....

Every day

 I must think f stuff to write every other minute of every day. My mind drifts in and out, over, under around and through so many different things.

I am not, what is that new buzz word.. neurodiverse...new new buzzword to explain people who have ADHD or are Autistic or have several other things about them that make them different, or diverse, from regular, just plain simple folks who putter around in their daily lives thinking not too much and not too little about everything.

No biggie. But there are times, especially when I need to go to sleep, that my brain does not stop or shut down and I lie in bed thinking thousands of strange things. Songs. Jingles. Different endings to movies or books. Old boyfriends. Old friends who have either gone away or died. Yes, died.

The other day I finally found my old kindergarten class photo that J had put away to be safe. Took me several weeks to find it. I could name every single person in it except for two girls I don't recall ever seeing in my life. Or maybe I just didn't care who they were.

There are plenty of people like that. They are discarded because I just don't care. Or want to. Or need to. Or they were just so immemorable that they fell to the wayside.

I will say this much--I hope they are alive and well and happy, wherever they are or whoever they are.

I just don't remember them.

But I refuse to stare up at my bedroom ceiling and wonder who the heck they were and why I didn't know them in Kindergarten.

AAARGH

 This computer thing is annoying the heck out of me.

Turn it on...it wants to start all over again. Sign in. Do this. Update that. I had everything going quite nicely and once again, it gives me grief.

I used to have a thing to press that would automatically send me to my blog so I could write what I had censored on my mind. Now, I gotta fish around for it.

Listen, computer gods.

I am losing my interest in my desktop. Yes, I do not write books of fiction any more. I use my phone to check FB. I use the tablet to see what my doctor writes back to me. I watch too much television because I no longer read books.

Something has snapped in my brain, just like what has happened to my desktop computer.

Not agasin

 Well, my computer is giving me heartache again.

I can't remember when I last turned it on, but now it wants to update my chrome stuff, whatever that is, and I have no idea what I need to do, even with the eversohelpful directions.

I may never be able to use my desktop again.

Missed opportunity

 Some guy tried and failed to kill 45.

He failed but killed someone else in the crowd and seriously wounded three others. He, in turn, was killed by the Secret Service.

We will never know what exactly prompted this person to attempt assassination.

Too bad. I'd have liked to hear his reasoning.

Regardless, two people are dead because of an automatic rifle that is legal to carry open in Pennsylvania.

Let's hear the reasoning for open carry!

iN A BAD WAY

 FACING THE WORLD WITH LITTLE SLEEP

i CAN'T EVEN GET THE MACHINE TO GET THE LETTERS RIGHT. i NEED SLEEP. 

woke UP AROUND 2, ENDED UP TAKING A BENEDRYL SO i MIGHT GET SOME SLEEP. WOKE UP AT 9 FEELING AS IF SOMEONE SAT ON MY HEAD.

GOT DOWNSTAIRS, TRYING TO EAT GRAHAM CRACKERS FOR BREAKFAST WHEN hERB STARTS CLEARING STUFF OFF THE TABLE AND IS ABOUT TO TOSS OUT SOME PAPERS WHEN OUT OF THE STACK FALLS A GREEN POSTCARD ADDRESSED TO ME REQUIRING ME TO FILL OUT A FORM FOR JURY DUTY.

aFTER DRIVING TO THE AIRPORT TO PICK UP THE KIDS, i GOT HOME, ATE LUNCH AND CAME UP HERE TO FILL OUT THE DON'T PICK ME FOR JURY DUTY FORM ONLINE. i MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE IT RIGHT.

i AM OVER 75. i AM DISABLED. i CAN BARELY WALK OR STAND WITHOUT HELP. i WISH i COULD HAVE FILLED SOMETHING OUT STATING MY VOTING PREFERENCES BUT THERE WASN'T A SPOT ON THE FORM FOR THAT.

cURRENTLY, i AM IN A VERY BAD MOOD.

i AM A GOOD AMERICAN PERSON.  FIFTEEN YEARS A GIRL SCOUT. TEACHING FROM 1971 UNTIL 1996. mOTHER OF TWO. wIFE OF A vIETNAM VETERAN. TOOK CARE OF MY MOTHER SINCE 1985 UNTIL HER DEATH IN 20016.

yES, i AM A GOOD PERSON. i HAVE CERTAIN FOIBLES, BUT THEY ARE CONSISTENT WITH BEING A PUBLISHED WRITER OF FICTION.

i WILLNOT WAVE FLAGS. i WILL NOT PUT ANTI-SO AND SO SIGNS ON MY FRONT LAWN. i WILL NOT DESTROY SIGNS OF ASSHOLES WHO DO PUT ANTI-SO AND SO SIGNS ON THEIR LAWNS. 

i VOTE, NEVER MISSING A VOTE SINCE i TURNED 21.

nO, i CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN FROM WHERE i AM AND i NEED TO TAKE MY SHOWER RIGHT NOW.