Monday, September 19, 2016

Question for the ages

Somehow, I found a terrible movie on MGM this morning.
It was a South Korean attempt at kaiju, which, as you may know, is my very best favorite silly kind of movie.
Only this one wasn't just silly--it was pretty awful.

I could list some of the things that made it so bad, like the terrible monster head, the pathetic city-sets, the dialogue which was often repeated for no reason at all, the quaint use of a child to solve how to kill off the monster, the pathetic use of a child in the story at all, the scenes of folks running away from the monster to evacuate the town...they're carrying pots on their heads and boards instead of, oh, say, suitcases? But this is enough to give you an idea of how bad the flick was. Topping the list was the fact that you could distinctly see some sort of round pipe in the back of the monster's mouth from which the flame of death spouted.

However, and this is a biggie, one line changed everything. One line I have never heard in a kaiju flick, one small query that nobody has ever picked up and is haunting me now. If I think hard enough about this one simple line perhaps I can apply it to real life. Maybe you can, too.

It asked--the generals of all branches of the military, with a Korean and American flag in the background--quite honestly:

What does it want?

Never ever has this line been uttered in a monster flick. Yet is means a great deal to me. Here's this terrible, destructive, enormous monster from somewhere else. It is crashing and smashing its way up from the ocean or underground or a big egg or something and nobody else has ever thought to ask what it wants?

What does it want? Not fame or glory as it doesn't do any good, not even to or for itself. Not just to destroy...most of the destruction happens by accident or as the monster is trying to get somewhere and the tail swings through a couple of apartment houses and/or office buildings. Perhaps seeking what it wants, but it is a monster and it doesn't care how much damage it causes. It has something it must do or somewhere it must go, to find what it wants, yet no one tries to figure that out.

All they need to do is kill the monster (oh, those jets never work, neither do the tanks) and that's that.

If they could just figure out what it wants...perhaps there could be an easier solution. A better, quicker way to get rid of it.

But since the missiles, jets, tanks, and helicopters have absolutely no effect on the huge dinosaur/lizard/creature from space, somebody has to come up with a scientific solution. In this case, it was dumping ammonia on the monster. Couldn't take ammonia, made it itch to death. The monsters from Mars were killed by Earth germs. Godzilla's monster friends are either killed by Godzilla or...a combination of Godzilla and science.

But if the army/air force/navy, special forces could just figure out the primary goal of the monster, things would go a lot quicker.

There are no Yungarys/Godzillas/King Kongs, what have you in real life.
But that is not to say there are no such things as monsters.
Look around.
Figure out what it is they want.

Use that against them.

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