We found our 1968 Buick Grand National listed for sale on some internet sale site.
It is not for sale. It never has been, was never listed, but if it were, considering the money put into it in the past few years, I'd want $60,000 for it.
So, however it got listed on a national selling site, if it doesn't get taken off or down or whatever, if somebody is willing to give me that amount of cash for it, I'll consider.
Oncologist today
This is the first time I will be actually in her presence in over a year.
So many things have happened since then.
I thought all my physical problems were psychosomatic, but they aren't.
So, naturally, I'm scared. They will draw blood and she'll look me over and hopefully say, hey, you're okay, nothing to worry about, even though it has been twelve years almost since your last chemo treatment.
They never say "cured". They never even say "in remission" anymore.
Because they know cancer is evil and will lie in wait for years and years to come back in another form.
This time, I am worried about my skin. Bumps and little scabs and sore parts. And recurring shingles. Or....
Always that OR.
Always wondering when that other shoe will drop.
I don't want to jinx anything.
I really need to express myself in some way, so here are current thoughts and observations on the world and me.
Something seems a little bit better. Yes, I got vaccinated. The rest of my immediate family is half vaccinated. Today, there is some kind of problem with my type of vaccine, but I guess if I were going to die from a blood clot caused by maybe this vaccine, I'd be dead already as I got the vaccine on 12 MAR 21.
Fortunately, I am still alive.
Moving on, the trees are shedding pollen and starting to get green around the edges. Our day lilies have reached at least a foot above the dirt and the gladiolas are shooting up, along with bits of those two other plants I cannot remember, but one gets really tall and has purply pink bunches of flowers and the other has spindly leaves and loads of yellow flowers. All is good there. The lilac bushes have leaves.
That cheers me.
What also cheers me is that some of the skin infection that has plagued me all over my zaftig bod seems to be clearing. I don't want to go into detail, but it is not fun, has not been cured through three different types of cream meds and antibiotics. Perhaps it is because I am not all that bothered by the news, well except for the useless killing of people, but that irritant has quieted and I feel a huge wave of calm washing over my psyche.
Is it my imagination?
Are things getting better?
The numbers of COVID illnesses keeps rising. I still don't go anywhere. I talk with friends via Facebook and telephone and email. They send photos. I try to remember to take photos to send.
I see my oncologist next week. I do not want to be complacent because cancer comes when it wants to.
I've been so lucky to have lasted eleven years beyond a stage 4 lymphoma diagnosis!
And I keep fighting.
We all keep fighting to survive. We all try to do our best in these trying times and we all want to go back to our lives the way they were.
But, well, you can't go home easily. And even when you do, it isn't the way you remembered it was.
