Every day

 I must think f stuff to write every other minute of every day. My mind drifts in and out, over, under around and through so many different things.

I am not, what is that new buzz word.. neurodiverse...new new buzzword to explain people who have ADHD or are Autistic or have several other things about them that make them different, or diverse, from regular, just plain simple folks who putter around in their daily lives thinking not too much and not too little about everything.

No biggie. But there are times, especially when I need to go to sleep, that my brain does not stop or shut down and I lie in bed thinking thousands of strange things. Songs. Jingles. Different endings to movies or books. Old boyfriends. Old friends who have either gone away or died. Yes, died.

The other day I finally found my old kindergarten class photo that J had put away to be safe. Took me several weeks to find it. I could name every single person in it except for two girls I don't recall ever seeing in my life. Or maybe I just didn't care who they were.

There are plenty of people like that. They are discarded because I just don't care. Or want to. Or need to. Or they were just so immemorable that they fell to the wayside.

I will say this much--I hope they are alive and well and happy, wherever they are or whoever they are.

I just don't remember them.

But I refuse to stare up at my bedroom ceiling and wonder who the heck they were and why I didn't know them in Kindergarten.

AAARGH

 This computer thing is annoying the heck out of me.

Turn it on...it wants to start all over again. Sign in. Do this. Update that. I had everything going quite nicely and once again, it gives me grief.

I used to have a thing to press that would automatically send me to my blog so I could write what I had censored on my mind. Now, I gotta fish around for it.

Listen, computer gods.

I am losing my interest in my desktop. Yes, I do not write books of fiction any more. I use my phone to check FB. I use the tablet to see what my doctor writes back to me. I watch too much television because I no longer read books.

Something has snapped in my brain, just like what has happened to my desktop computer.

Not agasin

 Well, my computer is giving me heartache again.

I can't remember when I last turned it on, but now it wants to update my chrome stuff, whatever that is, and I have no idea what I need to do, even with the eversohelpful directions.

I may never be able to use my desktop again.

Missed opportunity

 Some guy tried and failed to kill 45.

He failed but killed someone else in the crowd and seriously wounded three others. He, in turn, was killed by the Secret Service.

We will never know what exactly prompted this person to attempt assassination.

Too bad. I'd have liked to hear his reasoning.

Regardless, two people are dead because of an automatic rifle that is legal to carry open in Pennsylvania.

Let's hear the reasoning for open carry!

iN A BAD WAY

 FACING THE WORLD WITH LITTLE SLEEP

i CAN'T EVEN GET THE MACHINE TO GET THE LETTERS RIGHT. i NEED SLEEP. 

woke UP AROUND 2, ENDED UP TAKING A BENEDRYL SO i MIGHT GET SOME SLEEP. WOKE UP AT 9 FEELING AS IF SOMEONE SAT ON MY HEAD.

GOT DOWNSTAIRS, TRYING TO EAT GRAHAM CRACKERS FOR BREAKFAST WHEN hERB STARTS CLEARING STUFF OFF THE TABLE AND IS ABOUT TO TOSS OUT SOME PAPERS WHEN OUT OF THE STACK FALLS A GREEN POSTCARD ADDRESSED TO ME REQUIRING ME TO FILL OUT A FORM FOR JURY DUTY.

aFTER DRIVING TO THE AIRPORT TO PICK UP THE KIDS, i GOT HOME, ATE LUNCH AND CAME UP HERE TO FILL OUT THE DON'T PICK ME FOR JURY DUTY FORM ONLINE. i MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DONE IT RIGHT.

i AM OVER 75. i AM DISABLED. i CAN BARELY WALK OR STAND WITHOUT HELP. i WISH i COULD HAVE FILLED SOMETHING OUT STATING MY VOTING PREFERENCES BUT THERE WASN'T A SPOT ON THE FORM FOR THAT.

cURRENTLY, i AM IN A VERY BAD MOOD.

i AM A GOOD AMERICAN PERSON.  FIFTEEN YEARS A GIRL SCOUT. TEACHING FROM 1971 UNTIL 1996. mOTHER OF TWO. wIFE OF A vIETNAM VETERAN. TOOK CARE OF MY MOTHER SINCE 1985 UNTIL HER DEATH IN 20016.

yES, i AM A GOOD PERSON. i HAVE CERTAIN FOIBLES, BUT THEY ARE CONSISTENT WITH BEING A PUBLISHED WRITER OF FICTION.

i WILLNOT WAVE FLAGS. i WILL NOT PUT ANTI-SO AND SO SIGNS ON MY FRONT LAWN. i WILL NOT DESTROY SIGNS OF ASSHOLES WHO DO PUT ANTI-SO AND SO SIGNS ON THEIR LAWNS. 

i VOTE, NEVER MISSING A VOTE SINCE i TURNED 21.

nO, i CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN FROM WHERE i AM AND i NEED TO TAKE MY SHOWER RIGHT NOW.

Saltpeter

 Woke up this morning with a strange word in my mind: Saltpeter.

It is a chemical once obtained from the bottom of empty wine barrels, used by alchemists and those who fiddled around with any natural chemical they could find in their medieval world mindset.

Popular thinking at the time, and evidently still is thought, that the men in the military were given the potassium nitrate in their scrambled eggs to keep their minds on the job, not on  women because it was thought that the use of saltpeter, a chemical used in fertilizer and gunpowder, would subdue the male libido.

In other words, it was anti-Cialis or Viagra. While those drugs make the erectile function, saltpeter supposedly did away with sexual desire.

Yeah, right. 

It was used to preserve meat here in the US previous to 1980, it has been removed from such use. Back in the days of the "how can we keep meat from spoiling", or how can we get the biggest bang for our military buck, it was used. There are also suggestions that certain navies used it to keep their sailors ready to fight, not to ----. To keep their minds on the job of firing cannons, not using their own guns. 

Perhaps it had the desired effect back in the day and it was not talked about, much like UFOs still are, because of what it might do to the fighting forces. It has no effect on females, by the way.

So, in my brilliance first thing this morning, I considered a national Give "Em Saltpeter every morning as women are now forced to take birth control meds in order to get around the unwanted pregnancy thing.

Here I thought I had managed to solve the destruction of Roe v. Wade problem perfectly.

Not again!!!!!

 Yes, again. My computer with the funny little icons to  get me here to my website is effed up.

I am angry enough to spit.

Well, it is Good Friday and I always try to behave on Good Friday, but I really am tiked off.

Somehow, since I never made those icons myself, the lords of computerdom have decided to change shit around. Why can't they leave me alone?

I'm actually working on an editing job. The story is great and I hacve this awful feeling if I don't finish toeday, all my remarks and edits may disappear before I can remember how to send the work back to my friend. (It's a cozy mystery that has me tangled up better than Stephanie Plum.)

Let's see if this goes through and even onto FB.