And now for something completely different

We're expecting company from Scotland this week.  I'm getting rather excited.  I love listening to the burr, first of all, and next, I love listening to someone else tell stories!  Let's face it. I'm pretty much stuck in the house because of saving gas money and not being able to walk too far or too fast and the heat, so the complaints of my family become rather tiresome.
But we will have a relative stranger sleeping on our new sofa bed, eating at our table...and she's a woman, so she'll be bound to talk.  And I am an expert at bringing out the chattiness in people.
Ask anyone.

I ought to read up on Scotland a bit.  Though I did plenty of studying for In Deep, the unpublished story that takes place at Loch Ness, there are some dates that should be memorized...such as Culloden and Sean Connery's birthday.

My knowledge of Scottish cookery goes only as far as the highlander historical novels I used to inhale.  I sincerely doubt anybody cooks bannocks on a heated rock any longer, not when there are stoves for that purpose.  Haggis, well, I don't think that that is mentioned in polite circles.  Yep, that's about all I know about food in Scotland that isn't like food in England.

I know kids get milk money every month until they are five or so...so the kiddies won't starve, I suppose.  Nice thought.  Although the parents could probably waste the money on drink should they get hold of it.  There's no maid who takes the milk money and make sure the kiddies get proper food.  That's up to the mother and if she's a sot, well, there you are then.  Poor kiddies.

And the weather is poorly most of the time.  Rainy mists in the glen and highland.  Pipers in the rain.  Kilts.  Heather.  Fishing in the lochs.  Nessie.

I will refrain from bringing up the monster.  I promise I will.  Maybe, if the woman is lucky, she will be out with my daughters and won't have to tolerate me at all.