Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Worry

 My husband is getting a biopsy for prostate cancer.

Today.

It is raining like crazy. Roads are flooded. He doesn't need to go far, but we may have to go through water. He will not be able to drive.

I am scared.

There is an indication of cancer. A strong indication.

OMG, please, NO!



Tuesday, September 28, 2021

 I promised myself I would not get political anymore.

What I will write is about the rampant stupidity surrounding me and this entire country.

Freedom. Liberty. Equality. Common Sense.

Yeah.

I am so discouraged. My voice crying out just bounces off the mountains of ignorance and back at me.

Dispirited. Downhearted. Broken.

That's me.

I would write more, but what's the use?

I alone cannot defeat stupidity. My friends who are shouting haven't done any educating much less converting. And all the flag waving and shouting goes on. 

There are so many problems in this country and this world. Wasting breath and words on that which cannot be changed is futile.


Saturday, August 28, 2021

Today I lost my domain name.

Irenepeterson.com no longer existed.  

I've had this domain name since 1996 and, suddenly, I didn't.

This week, this summer, this year has been horrible for me and the rest of the world.

 
And then, I didn't exist.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, considering how crappy things have been.

But I do exist and I do want to keep on existing and all the pain and sorrow I have felt, and the rest of the world has suffered, has been for nothing.

Well, perhaps some oppressed people have managed to leave their desert, but at the cost of US military and civilians who dared defy their enemies.

That's just what the world has suffered.

Add the freaking virus killing more people who did not need to die!

Yes, I'm feeling pretty awful, but there are others, after all, who feel much, much worse.

God bless us, every one!


 

Monday, July 5, 2021

July 4th, 2021

 Yesterday, amidst the flag waving and the sparkling skies, I came to realize something...something important.

It wasn't the day to celebrate our soldiers, those who gave their lives for their country or those who are still in the various frays around the world. It was not a day to celebrate how very wonderful our country is, either.

America is flawed.

There are parts of our past that make me ashamed. I am not alone in this. I could list some of the bad things we have done as a nation: how we treat indigenous people, how we treated slaves as animals and still hold some of our people as lesser than some of us, how we took Hawaii from its people on a whim of pineapple producers, how we forget that Puerto Rico is part of our country, how we only lent ourselves out to fight in world wars until we ourselves were attacked, how we have hated the millions of people in the former Soviet Union and China because we were afraid of them...there are so many more instances I can cite, but that's enough for now.

What I want to say is that, 254 or so years ago, some men who could think came up with a plan to establish a new country. One founded on some sort of equality for men who had land and money, and given the principles of the times, it gave certain people a way to climb up the ladder to become citizens who had a right to choose their leaders.

Very wise, but flawed.

They could have, right from the start, done away with slavery. In order to get other things they wanted, they deemed more important, the founding men gave up that idea in favor of two houses of legislature, one representing population, the other equally two members from each new state. It worked, sort of.

They could not foresee everything. In a few years, they had to add a list of rights to the initial idea of constitution, which made things a bit better, but still not achieving everything to make this union more perfect.

Therein lies the problem, but they did try hard. They really did.  And it works fairly well, just not perfectly.

We can all sit in front of our televisions and see injustice and exclusion and war and death that should be bettered. Some of us come up with solutions and pass these brilliances on to our legislators and sometimes these ideas change things. Look...women can vote and old office. The oppressed are slightly less oppressed than they were before. America is still the place people want to be. That's why they keep coming here.

But these rich guys in Pennsylvania didn't get everything right, first thing. And people living now are reading far more into their words to suit themselves and the things they want. Some people like their changes, others do not.

Some people need to view the world through eyes that see the wrong and try to make it right.

This is what America really is, and really should be.

I thank my ancestors who came to this country because the country they lived in was beyond terrible. America was the shining light in the darkness of their old worlds. They came here, worked hard and climbed slowly up a rung or two of the ideal American ladder of success.

They were successful because they wanted to work at it. They tried to shake off the old country ways that didn't allow them to become something other than peasants who owned nothing. And they wanted to be safe.

That's what we all really need to be. Safe. Safe from worrying about the knock on the door. Safe from horrid diseases and unnatural deaths and murder. Safe to own things some people never can have in this world.

Maybe we are too content to sit back and let the bad things roll away from us. 

Maybe we have to do something more to make this the land of the free. Have everyone equal, no matter what.

This is my independence day salute to America. 

I love this country.

Friday, July 2, 2021

Late June, 1963



 Back in the early 60s, two horse crazy girls attended the huge horse show in Johnson's Park in New Brunswick, NJ.

It was what they looked forward to every year...must have gone to the show for many years, though I cannot number them now. At least from 1961, that's for sure.

They reveled in the fact that they bore "exhibitors" badges, obtained from a local horseman who frequented the tavern owned by one of the girl's fathers. It made them get into the festivities and the horses without question.

Too bad neither had a horse to exhibit.

Too bad they had nothing other than love of horses to keep them going through the heat of early summer.

But it was wonderful, being there among the riders. The smell of the horses surrounded the girls. The thrill of watching the events. Rising on invisible saddles when the horses performed so beautifully by clearing a jump. Seeing what they wanted for themselves but never obtained.

Reaching for the moon.

But for three days at the end of June for so many years, they were as close to heaven as they could get.

These people were so far beyond them. The wealth involved in keeping a horse, much less several, as whole families rode in numerous events. Their tent stables were lined with expensive tack and ribbons from events won. The jangling of the bridles as these wealthy few got their horses ready to show or removed the tack that would have to be cleaned for the next day.

Three days of heaven for little, silly, love struck girls.

I would go back in a second!

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Because I could not stop for death, it kindly stopped for me

 Not me, not really. I mean, we're all dying slowly, right? Some faster than others.

I learned today that one of my sorority sisters passed away suddenly.

I am very upset.

She was one of the most talented individuals I have ever known. I was not close to her after her marriage, which produced two girls, but I recently started hearing from her on FB. A little now and then. But I consider that keeping in touch.

I don't know how she died or the cause. But I am saddened that the world and her family has lost someone so precious.

So sorry, Fitz.

Monday, May 31, 2021

Forensics

 Several years ago, my mother gave me one of her back brushes.  She had two or three, so she gave me one.

I never used it, put it away meaning to use it if I ever needed to scrub my back.

Well, my back itches. Getting old, I guess. Itchy and itchier!  The doctor told me it was because of old age. Humph!

Yesterday I found the back brush and took it to the sink to see if it needed to be washed or at least dusted.

Oh, it needed more.

There were silvery white hairs stuck in the bristles.

My mother's hair.

All that is left of her!

All her own DNA.

Not what was cremated. Not what was dumped into the lake behind her house. Not what was buried next to my father.

Hers. 

My mother's last remaining bits.

The girls and I removed the hair from the back brush and put it into a small plastic bag.

It's almost wrong. It's almost pathetic. 

But it is her.