Admit it.
You've seen her...the slim, tall model, upswept hair, nondescript bland outfit...enjoying her family Christmas gathering.
As she sits there, she picks up a ball of candy and after unwrapping the shiny foil, slowly nibbles at a luscious chocolate ball of candy. Nibbles. She carefully doesn't bite it. A smile spreads over her lips and she almost inhales delight.
Right.
You've seen her. I've seen her...she's modeling and nibbling all over the Hallmark Channel.
You sorta dislike her.
Well, you may do more than sorta dislike her, if you are someone like me.
Bite the damn truffle, bitch! Eat it as if it won't put ten pounds on your thighs! Maybe you won't fit into that pencil skirt if you actually swallow the sweet confection!
Be human!
You see, magnificent model person, there are women watching you nibble, women who like chocolate. Who look forward to actually tasting that deliciousness. Women who hesitate because they worry about those ten pounds added to their thighs or butts or ankles or chin.
Maybe more women than you even know because they aren't models for anything but diabetes drugs.
We, the pudgy! We the women who do not nibble! We the women who like chocolate and potatoes and spaghetti and cake!
Sorry. You and I cannot be friends.
Ever.
Nibble away, bitch!
AAARGH!
